Risk Insanity

"I'm So Sick Of Watching The Minutes Pass While I Go Nowhere"

In light of recent events I've been skeptical about when to start my career. Before I believed I could wait a while and be in reserves. But the longer I think and more I learn it seems better to dive right in and go active. But my fears consume me during this choice.
This is my future... The weight is crashing down upon me. I see a path that may cure the insanity that crawls under my skin but if the path is deceiving I may drown in the insanity without my best friend their to guide me. I realize I must stand on my own two feet but the thought is still scary and the insanity is only shot back with his help and my boyfriend's support. Therefore could I leave them now? If not won't I have to do it later? Sgt. says I should do what makes me happy and this would but the "what if" scares me.
What if my insanity takes over???
Can or Will I risk losing it all if I could gain sanity?