Moment of Truth

Your everything the old me loved
I was terrified to take you back because I was afraid you wouldn't love the new me...
But after yesterday I' not so sure the new me is in love with you.
I know you'll blame my new friend and truth is I do like him
But that has nothing to do with us...
Truth is we were never meant to be
& boy does that suck!

Terrified

Love
1 simple word with only four letters. And it terrifies me!

I can stand up to a jerk twice my size. I might get my butt kicked but I'll still have my pride and will at least get a few good punches in!
I can hold my head up through all the nasty labels, because I know I'm better than that!
Put a gun to my head, I'll tell you to pull it, cause i honestly doubt you have the guts to pull the trigger!
I may stand my ground from any clown cause really can you not tell their Physcopaths in makeup! But I will not run with my tail tucked under!

But you absolutely terrify me. This feeling I have makes me weak in the knees but running back for more. I want to run away from the pain of heartbreak. It's worse than any pain, including a hurt pride. I can face anything head on but you. Cause what if I mess up one to many times? What if I'm not good enough? What if you decided not to love me anymore?

Dark

Your really gone. There's nothing I can so or do... you don't even believe me. She's in your arms and my arms hold myself together. "Friends" is what you call us but it's been so long since I've heard your voice or seen your beatiful blue eyes.
I'm alone now. You don't want to be hurt anymore, my best friend... well he just doesn't seem to want to be around. & again my letters to Daniel should begin. But this time is different. I use to believe in these three boys. They were the light in my darkened world. But I now I prefer the dark for light holds too much pain.

Leave

"You . . . don't . . . want me?"
"No"
"Well, that changes things."

I can't promise you I'll move on, I doubt I'll ever will. But I promise to leave you alone. You won't hear from me again. I leave in a few months and this town will be nothing but history. At least I can say I have a year to look back on, maybe. Now the pain is to harsh to look back but one day I hope the pain will ease or I'll grow use to it and I can. There's nothing else left to my name, so at least nothing else can go wrong. Best of luck in all you do.

Unrequited love

"Love, Life, Meaning . . . Over."

The agonizing pain is overwhelming but worst of all I'm lost. Life holds no purpose because I fail every time.

Love has left me with broken memories. I wake up screaming reliving the lose. Such perfect dreams only to be interrupt by reality. This lovely dream walker though is nothing in comparison to his deep blue eyes and mesmerizing smile  in reality. Reality though is far away without love.

Life keeps going while the world continues to turn. Going through the motions I say and do the least to keep moving forward. But really I'm not moving forward, only away from my every dream. Friends try to ease the pain and they might make me smile but love is always in the back of my mind. Unrequited love that is.

Meaning? How can life have meaning without love? Where is the hope when love has given up on you? There is no meaning, plain and simple. Short and to the point. "I can't exist in a world without you."

Good-Bye

I could just lay here
Give into to the pain
Let go of my fear
And go insane
the comforting cold
calls my name
But I have to stand bold
Walk away from the game
Face my demons
Pick up my pride
Forget these reasons
I use for a guide
Tell you good-bye
And do not cry
Just another lesson to learn
With a picture to burn

Preface to my first book: Confessions of a Juliet

I feel as though I’m merely a character in a book or just another typical, over dramatic teenage girl. But I am so much more. I’m the twenty first century Juliet desperately trying to cling to my Romeo but this unjust society will not let us be. There’s nothing I can possible do to save us but to simply sit and wait. But how can I simply sit and wait when life could be ending. I’m not easily fooled; I have read about many star-crossed lovers and there are two destinies that lie ahead of them. One of course is the famous Romeo and Juliet who tragically die for love and two is Twilight’s Bella and Edward who overcome all odds and live happily ever after. I’m not sure I believe in fairy tales and sparkling vampires though.