A Broken Girl with a Pretty Smile

I just want to scream the pain away, to suffocate all these thoughts in between the screams and the damaged pillow. The Monster is boiling my blood, stretching just beneath the skin. It's a devastating cycle of the monster and hope swirling around dueling each other only to come up in an circle of losing and winning or just stalling on another, never reaching satisfaction for long. But of course I hold it all together with a  deceitful smile, fooling others with mislead beauty. I look around for the comfort of so many but only one seems to be around. And even he can't be much comfort. Because his love trashes at my stomach in this knot, with whispering devils reminding you of the similar promise that broke me to begin with. What am I or what are my plans without him? Of course there are answers unlike before but they seem very empty and numb. The mental block is slipping and no one can tell. I'm just a broken girl with a pretty smile.

Left Behind

As school ends I see our friendship following suit. We can't blame the seasons, the drugs, the lust or even the miles apart. We both will soon reap what we have separately sowed. Your path is leading towards disaster as mine is an endless sky of possibilities. He will not make my decisions though your mattress skills so often make yours. My mind is clear and alert while yours is lost in a smoke screen of ignorance. You coast through life as I begin to awaken from the haze. I fear I have much to leave behind and our cozy friendship is just one of the many cherished memories I leave behind on the road that leads to nowhere.