Forgive

So tomorrow starts my new adventure in the Army.
Very excited but a tad bit nervous
The legal stuff I was smoking is now off the shelves but hopefully not able to show up in a drug test yet.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong" -Gandhi

And with that quote, that sums out my feelings towards the guy I've been writing about, I leave my blog for 9weeks (Basic training)

College Experience

You said goodbye, you said "Don't be sorry Nix, I'm sorry."

Well dear I'm not sorry I won't add to your jar of hearts, I just wish I wouldn't have fell for a boy who wouldn't catch me. You took my v-card so I guess I won't forget you but when the memory comes up I'll laugh and the only response about you I'll have to say is: "Crazy college kids"
That's all you are, were.... the stupid college experience. No more, no less.
It's a shame to lose your best friend, he was a good friend to me but I realize he too plays games just a slightly different one than you.
Thanks for the full College Experience!

Second Chance?

"saturday at the _________ i didnt really fill tht condom up or any of tht idk if u knew this or could tell but_____ walkd away cryin i think"

This is pretty much a Jerk statement!
1st Off he states the obvious making him sound like he is calling me stupid!
2nd Yeah him pretty much ruined my first time having sex, thanks for bringing it back up!
3rd Both him and his best friend wanted in my pants, he didn't get to BooHoo he has his own girlfriend!
4rth I noticed him crying, I've even talked to him about it. . .Oh well I've told him I don't see him that way!
5th Way to be a man. . .start something you can't finish!
6th He IMed me this!

He than goes on to say this "but um tht doest mean i dont wanna fuck you though"

Why the hell didn't he finish what he started! He might not get a second chance!

FEEDBACK? PLEASE!

My Twisted Havoc

This Twisted soul is starting to be well content

He may not be labeled as my "boyfriend" but we have an amazing time together and that's all that matters. Only one week left of College and looking back on this year I've made some pretty epically awesome friends ♥ I've fallen several times and left many scars but each time I got back up and started a new adventure. So what if I made a lot of mistakes I'm not perfect. . . I'm Twisted!

And I wouldn't Have it any other way as a start my next adventure. . . About 2 and a half weeks out till Basic Training where I'll become Army Strong and Who knows what Havoc awaits me there (:

Haunt Me!

I'm falling for your game. The incredible feeling of skin against skin the closeness of you inside of me  vs. Days without speaking and little to say soberly around the rest of the world. You will kiss me all over but you won't hold my hand. You whisper lines I want to believe, than I'm just one of the guys. From the outside looking in I'm just a fuck buddy but you say I'm more and at times you act like were more. You'll stand up for me and smoke with me, I'm cool enough to hang with your friends and my friends are growing on you.

But I leave soon.. 3 weeks. Than what? I'm gone, this is gone... So please give me something that will Haunt Me!

Sex, Drugs And . . . A Hippie Festival

The insanity reached a boiling point... with sex, drugs, and a hippie festival.

I had sex for the first time Saturday with the guy I've been seeing. It wasn't what I expected at all but my body carves more and emotional I feel the attachment I  promised I won't feel. I'm beginning to fall knowing he won't catch.

Trying to avoid drugs with my new friends is a huge joke so again I was smoking Saturday (legal stuff). 10min after sex though we went to find a friend who was smoking pots to only be found by the cops. Thankfully I didn't get in any trouble but my some what boyfriend was charged with possession.

And all this happened at a Hippie festival on Saturday.... It's now Tuesday and  still haven't heard from this guy and my emotions are going haywire. I'm beginning to believe I'll just be another heart in his collection jar.