Stop the Games!

"The way you move is like a full on rain storm and I'm a house of cards"

You are everything I use to hate but somewhere along the way I found a pretty cool friend to do crazy shit with. I wrote a blog sometime a go called "Typical or Not-so-Typical Teenager" about how he should've been the one I liked instead of his best friend.

STOP! I began writing this yesterday with a different mind set. I'm tired of all the drama and the crap over a single guy that's hardly around. What the hell am I fighting for??? A guy that plays nothing but mind games, drugs and sex???

Lies are so easy to fall into but in the morning sun so easy to catch! If you want to be a part of this Twisted life, PROVE IT!

Stop the Games!

It's Time Again to Run Away

Have I truly lost myself?
I spent Friday in my room and most likely today too.
What happen to all my thousand friends, Did I give them all away for a guy???
I keep changing or more like pushing the insanity back...
I live one life with him and another at school (the only time I see my friends)
James is gone, Bay is Gone... Ry and Chris are never around, Zack is gone, Latasha is gone, "the group" is becoming less of a hang out and more of a annoyance.
That leaves me 6 friends and 3 hours a week.....
WHOA! My friends went from everything to 3 out of 168 hours,180 out of 10080mins
Where's the times those numbers were about even and why are they slipping away?
What do I do, where do I try and please someone stop me from running away!

Never is

I feel the insanity pulsing through my blood, rushing to the skin, waiting to escape. Emotions are high and I can't keep up my block. Drugs enter my mind, it's the ultimate block but I'm not sure it's worth the price I have to pay. I need my friend, he see's the insanity, through the mask and knows the cure. Of course his games tear us apart. If only others would see though he gains his powers through their grudges. If only they could forgive and forget, than he would be powerless. But that is not the problem at stake... This insanity is! I'm drowning in ti and I feel as though there's nothing to hold on to. So many false promises to slow down the insanity, but is it worth it? No, it never is!

Masking Insanity

Insanity remains just beneath the skin. You can ignore for it is not seen but what about the night? Can you smile through the agony when no one's there? Can you laugh at the memories your forced to leave behind? Am I really speaking about this in third person like it isn't me. Like I'm this amazing girl, with this amazing change and amazing friends. News Flash... That's NOT me!!! I miss my crazy friends, i can't walk away from the memories, the tears pour every night this game goes on. I miss my old friends, I miss being care free and rebellious, I'm losing my twisted view to conform to god knows what! A good christian life, is that what God even called me to do? I thought my mission was to heal the broken by standing with them, by showing the love in the mist of danger and adrenaline. The drugs made things easier to handle but my back bone has been destroyed and I handle everything by bottling it up? What happens when the insanity rips through the surface and takes back what's rightful its? What will happen when all that's left is the broken rebel she always was. When the curtains draw back and the actress is uncovered will the audience leave?

Redemption: Heather

Description for one of the two main characters in my book Redemption.

That stupid Cheer Bitch always ruins everything. Her touch torches shit under her red and white spirit nails. Her voice pains my bleeding ears and she defiantly processes the “looks to kill.” Blonde hair, Blue eyed, perfect figure Cheer captain but don’t let that fool you, her tiny body burst with evil to a higher extent than an actual blood thirsty wolf, (which is her mascot).

Away?

insanity is crawling beneath my skin, I just can't hide from the overwhelming madness! This confident, cool rocker chick character will only last so long. Such a fool to believe this play would last. The truth is I'm insane and the knife offers the balance I need. But will this reveal the actress behind the curtain? Will he walk away or will the insanity push him away?Will things ever be ok?!

Typical or Not-So-Typical Tennage Deviance

I hate you!

Well it's more like I hate how you make me think.
I know I should've been with you instead of your best friend, it's pretty obvious looking back and we both can easily see it.  Well lets back this up to the start...

      2 Boys competing over the cute but insecure rocker chick. How much simpler does it get? Of course the girl chooses the wrong one, typical story. She falls for the one who constantly uses her and takes advantage of her but its ok because he choose her over all the other girls. She knew both guys liked her which made her feel amazing but as I said she choose the wrong one, the one with the most game, isn't that how it usually works?
     Next chapter things begin to really start up, the climax you might say. The rocker chick becomes a pothead toy while the other guy finds another girl... a smarter one if you might say. Of course this doesn't fly well with our main character, she has to go after him and prove she can get what she shouldn't have, it's that rebellious streak. Average story she gets his attention, he decides to hook up with her... but her insecurities and morals get the best of her and whatever did happens is written off as a dream.
    A few chapters and deviant actions later the poor chick has twisted her reality into all the things she promised she never would be and left for a new adventure. She called her friend a few times but he was never home, wrote a letter that was never returned; she assumed her story had ended quite tragically. Months later though she is back in the same town struggling to keep her rebellion and practice her morals. Stuck up her old friends would call this "new" character. But he shows up after an incident she didn't know how to solve. He flung around words and proved he knew her better than she remembered but as the story goes she had already started a new life, this could be just another dream that never happened but than again the thoughts are swirling around her mind and that rebellious streak is dying to come out, for what is a rocker chick without her rebellion? The end?